Setting Boundaries: The Art of Saying “No” Without Feeling Like a Villain 🗣
Let’s face it, setting boundaries can feel a little… icky. You want to be nice, accommodating, and maybe even a bit of a superhero for everyone around you. But what happens when saying “yes” to others means saying “no” to yourself? Spoiler alert: you end up overworked, resentful, and emotionally drained. *Cue the holiday season rushing from one family event to another!
Boundaries are like fences for your time, energy, and emotional bandwidth. They’re not meant to shut people out but to create a structure that allows you to decide what (and who) gets through. Think of them as the ultimate home security system. Without boundaries, you’re basically leaving the door wide open for anyone to walk in and rummage through your metaphorical fridge at 2 a.m. Do you really want that? I think not.
When you say “no” to the things that drain you, you’re actually saying “yes” to the things that light you up.
Self-care, hobbies, or just five minutes of glorious silence where no one is asking, “What’s for dinner?” You know when you get the repeated airplane chat about saving ourselves with the oxygen mask first, but we never listen? Maybe we should listen because when gasping for air we aren’t much use to anyone, are we?
But Isn’t Setting Boundaries Kinda…Rude?
Nope, nope and NOPE. When we set boundaries we aren’t rejecting people. We are protecting our relationship with them. The trick is all in the sauce AKA the delivery.
Instead of: “Leave me alone, I can’t deal with you right now.”
Try: “I’d love to help/chat/attend, but I’m at capacity today. Let’s connect another time!”
When you’re clear about what you can and can’t offer, you’re setting the stage for better communication and less resentment.
So, the next time someone accuses you of being selfish for setting boundaries, just smile and say, “Thanks for noticing! It means I’m taking care of myself. You should try it sometime.” Boundaries might feel awkward at first, but once you embrace them, they’re as freeing as slipping into your favorite pair of sweatpants.
Link to my course that will ease the troubles of just saying “no”.
